How to write a begging letter

Dear Cheddar Masters,

I pray you to consider accepting the Force Ability "Summon Colossal Squid" as a substitute for the current Level 1 homework assignment "Summon Bigger Fish." (0)

Cause, like, the squid in question was a news item of national and global interest when summoned and is scientifically cool because it's the largest complete colossal squid known. (1) And it was even dissected on the internet! (2)

Also, everyone knows that squid are much cooler than boring old fish. Like, did Tennyson say that a fish sleepeth "below the thunders of the upper deep"? (3) I don't think so. Also, really neat people like Bruce Schneier write about squid every single week when they could be doing cryptography and hacking and that (4) and also posh musicians like Jonathan Coulton who really understands the loneliness of the vasty deep. (5)

Yours in Kalamari,

Padawan Stey Va Nin


(0) http://stephcheddarmonk.blogspot.com/2009/10/and-heres-one-i-prepared-earlier.html
(1) http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/02/070222-squid-pictures.html, http://squid.tepapa.govt.nz/the-squid-files
(2) http://www.stuff.co.nz/environment/392199
(3) http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/896.html
(4) "Friday Squid Blogging" at http://www.schneier.com/blog/
(5) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc07lpuc3p0, http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/I%20Crush%20Everything